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I went to a funeral today
my father’s cousin,
she died of the same disease he has
saw all the people from the family reunions
(can you be reunited with someone the first time you’re meeting them?)
anyway,
damn Catholics,
worshipping their god Cathol?
anyway, the funeral
seemed more like an advertisement
ending with
“Oh, hey, did you hear Carla French died?”
then afterwards
we all sat in the sterile cafeteria
where I ate my first (and still only)
meal of the day
So,
Andy’s going to be a lawyer
Kristin’s going to work at a fish resort in Alaska
Julie’s son looks just like her,
except with a shaved head
Gail is still pissed at somebody for something
which is absolutely unforgivable,
who or what?-I have no idea
Earl’s still schizophrenic with huge glasses
to fit his huge face and refrigerator size body
the super religious cousins still sit by themselves
in long skirts and brown hair
-one of them told me of a poem she wrote about our lord,
and I didn’t roll my eyes
the jokes are still corny
and the disease is still hanging
over our heads
like a big sigh before an argument
I spent most of my time checking out
the two beautiful ladies
who I made sure
I was not related to
I really said that!
Oh fuck!
“Yeah, but you only said it to me,
don’t worry.”
Oh,
Good.
when he left that night
he told me I was the older brother
that he never wanted.,
me at 24
and him 29,
already a little graying.
and then I went home,
holding no brothers or sisters,
no Jessicas or Zip Lock bags,
no extra pants or shoes
no eyebrow rings or even
careening foreheads
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