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I was planning to go see this girl I’d been talking to.
we'd been out about 3 times
and hadn’t made it yet.
I called her and she said
I have to tell you something
before I see you tomorrow.
I have herpes.
That’s a bad joke
I said
I know, she said,
but I’m not kidding.
Wow.
That’s an even worse joke.
I know.
after I hung up
I decided to consult my local bartender
for a drink and an ear.
I told her the news I was just given
Oh.
she said
I just had to deal with the same thing,
I got herpes when I was fourteen,
the first guy I was ever with gave it to me.
I guess I’ve just , sort of,
grown up with it.
Holy shit,
I said,
Everyone’s full of bad jokes today.
later I went to share some front porch beer
with a friend and his wife,
telling them my little situation.
Oh, I know
his wife said,
I told him I had HPV
before he even touched my boobies.
What?
he joined in
Yeah, she was so honest
it made me love her even more.
What the fuck,
I said,
Everyone’s got bumps in their pants.
then they did a few lines
and started talking about
the societal implications of my haircut.
Time to walk home.
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